Well, that experiment of writing for a week did nothing to kill my inner critic. You know that guy? It’s the voice of the ego, telling you you’re shit and you shouldn’t try. The only thing that shuts the voice up is the act of doing. So here I am.
On Tuesday I tried to write a post but didn’t feel the flow. Oh it was going to be great and I was going to fully analyse the kids of today. Until I realised I knew little about ‘the kids’. I wrote for an hour and then wandered the house in a state of confused frustration. It was a mini-existential crisis of the ‘who am I?’ sort. This continued some time (too long) before I had an epiphany,
I am here to spread light
Considering how often I forget this, I think it’s worth repeating.
You are here to spread light too
I hope you can appreciate the seriousness of this by the bold font I am using, which is obviously what I mean to converse.
So Mi (I said) how are you going to help lift the vibration of the world today?
By writing a super-dooper blog post – duh!
Only I felt the shadow of hypocrisy lingering in my light. How could I go about spreading peace like a love guru when I was being snappy at home? I would have to clean my own doorstep first.
So, how will I lift the vibration of the world today?
Be nice to your mother! (came the answer)
Light-working starts at home.
It is so easy to take for granted the people who we are closest to. It is so easy to be mean to ourselves as well.
So the week continued and I was imperfectly patient.
Still nothing inspired me greatly to write about. I wasn’t feeling enough joy to squeeze any out.
But I did listen to Gabrielle Bernstein interview Gala Darling on her Hay House radio show and was reminded about Gala’s ‘Things-I-love’ Thursdays. One of the things I love is her Things-I-love Thursdays. J’adore… as she would say. Crush. (Okay now I’m copying her writing style). It does looks like an amazing fun time being her and so why not a bit of Things-I-Love expression? Why not cultivate a bit more joy and appreciation in these here pastures?
Ich liebe… raw cacao everything and extolling the virtues of it to anyone who will listen using exaggerated language like ‘epiphany’ and ‘existential crisis’ Persian rice with berries and almonds and a huge bowl of salad with fresh herbs my five-year-old nephew always saying ‘that’s funny’ and laughing shyly and asking if I’m going to make a smoothie or juice so he can operate the machinery sweet Vanessa’s deliveries of raw treats blue skies every single day awaiting the mango season giving myself the space to feel sad the masseuse saying I ‘devour’ the massage learning Hindi words like ‘badaam aanki’ (almond eyes) pops of purple from the Jacarandas blooming in NovemberDad wearing the Lower East Side t-shirt we gave him (everyday) making macadamia and caramel raw ‘cheesecake’ while family are having afternoon tea in the kitchenmaking my own schedule and being productive solo dance parties in the car every time Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines comes onMum coming up to my room warm gatherings with family and friends and family friendswaking up naturally before 6amAlana saying ‘I think the real question is why I made her hand green‘ after Mum asked why she had coloured my eyes blue Rosie’s messages about Fully Raw Kristinaeggs Benedict with spinach & smoked salmonFriday night happy hour gin and tonic at my parents’ house
Sometimes the light comes easily and other times we have to crawl towards it.
What are you loving this week?