Remembering to be Me

Aloha! I’m coming to you today from sunny Lucerne! I’ve got my arse parked on my beach towel, the dampness of the grass seeping through, and I’m hash-tagging outdooroffice all over my brain. Whoa life is good!

Firstly, I wanted to say welcome to y’all – the faithful and the new and those just passing by. I sometimes wonder if I should stop writing this blog but then new subscribers will sign up or someone will send me a message to say what I wrote helped them. It makes me feel there’s a reason for doing this besides my own enjoyment, which also feels sadomasochistic (non-sexually) at times. I am clearly not doing it for fame or fortune or to win the Booker prize for blogging. There are plenty of awesome blogs out there and I’m not trying to compete. But I’m hooked on sharing what I’m absorbing and spreading ‘the news’ as I see it in a form that’s far more creative and eloquent than what comes out of my mouth.  And sometimes I just need to vent.

Today I wanted to tell you about Dying To Be Me, Anita Moorjani’s account of her near death experience (NDE) and what she learnt from it. I’ve been gathering new perspectives about, you know, just my usual meaning of life caboodle. Anita, after spending four years with lymphatic cancer, went into a coma with organ failure and came out with her lemon-sized tumours disappearing within weeks, thanks to the NDE.

Obviously she learnt some pretty rad stuff on the other side.

During my NDE, I felt that my body, in its solid form, didn’t exist. I was just pure energy… This infinite energy was the real me, and the body was only a barometer to show how much life force was “coming through” or being expressed… From this, I feel that when we say people are of a higher vibration, we probably mean that they’re letting more of their authentic magnificence come through, so their “barometer” readings are really high! Consequently their positive energy and physical presence and strong… In that realm, however, nobody seemed stronger or weaker. Everyone was magnificent. But how much of that we express through our bodies into this dimension seems to be our choice.

Yeah, but what did you really learn, Anita?

This infinite energy was the real me, and the body was only a barometer to show how much life force was “coming through” or being expressed!

Everyone is magnificent. But how much of that we express through our bodies into this dimension seems to be our choice.

(!!!)

And how can we express our magnificence more and more?

By doing what we LOVE.

At first she only wanted to sit by the ocean with sand between her toes and eat Belgian chocolate ice cream but she knew there was a bigger plan for her and allowed this to unfold. She trusted and didn’t feel she had to do anything.

Of course she did stuff, but her actions stemmed from her emotions and feelings while staying in the present moment. I’m learning this too. Last week was a very big week for me. I had six appointments for my health, two of which were in other cities, and I finally got some news I’ve been waiting for. But I wouldn’t have got this news if I hadn’t gone with my gut, if I’d believed the first, second or the third doctor I saw or gave in to what other people wanted for me. I was faithful to myself and I feel rewarded for having the patience to dig deeper.

I spoke to many experts, I listened, I celebrated and cried, and trusted that I would find my own way, without being rushed. When we do things out of fear (like ‘just in case’ or ‘you have to do it now’) or things that are future focused, regardless of our current emotional state, we are taking action from a place of doing. (p.s. I’m still going to get insurance).

Anita says if everything she’s doing is driven by passion and a zest for living, then she’s being.

I just pay attention to whatever feels right at the time. For me, life is a spiritual experience, and I’m changing and evolving all the time.

So even though we are all ‘super busy’ and are not eating ice-cream with the sand between our toes, we can find ways to just chill the fuck out and follow our passions and emotions. For example, I could easily waste another week sitting inside and stressing over ‘all I have to do’ (and attempting to do it). But I’m not going to let another week go by like that. So today I took my work to have Assam tea at the Palace Hotel and then walked in the sun to the other side of the lake to start this post (#outdooroffice).

And really the big dot I wanted to connect with this post is dancing. I feel like my new dance class might be the most important part of my treatment. I’ve been dancing on and off since I was eight but hadn’t taken a class for the last five years and hadn’t found one in an age that felt so right for me. Only in going back did I realise how much I’d missed it. It feels like I’ve come home after a long journey and my chest burns with gratitude at the end of the class as we do our final stretch and I swallow back tears of joy. Afterwards, I walk the half hour home, feeling the life force, the magnificent infinite energy being expressed through this body.

I hope everyone can experience something as wonderful as my dance class – that’s all I wanted to say.

That’s the magic pill. Pure bliss.